Homesick
Dealing with somehow bearable thing
“Borta bra, men hemma bäst," a Swedish idiom which is translated as "there is no place like home." As someone who has lived in my hometown for about 27 years, At first, I did not understand or even believe it was true.
I was thinking moving out of my parents’ place would be cool, and I really want to train myself to become more independent. Someday, I will live on my own, hopefully with my own family, or even abroad. Thus, I have to deal with a syndrome called homesickness.
I have been living in Yogyakarta since June 2022 because of academic things. Also, I need to prepare for research because sometimes thinking about it makes me agitated due to a lack of progress. I also had not met my supervisors at that time to discuss my research.
At first, I did not feel like I was missing anything, except my cat, which I miss dearly every day. Away from home gives me opportunities to meet not so new friends from organizations and faculty, as well as, I think, gradually become more independent.
Despite those advantages, there are some hurdles that I experience. For instance, I have to tune in to the local customs, weather, and people, which are quite different from my hometown. Especially during my research. when I have to meet poultry farmers who speak formal Javanese whereas I only understand informal. In terms of custom, I am afraid that I might say something impolite. Therefore, I mostly use Indonesian to communicate with them.
Now, after almost six months, I feel like I'm kind of missing home. even just a little. Maybe because I miss the restaurants and cafes where I used to eat and work, as well as the gloomy and rainy weather in Bogor that I love most.
No matter how strong the urge is to go back home, even just for a while, I always ask myself this:
“How do those students who study abroad deal with homesickness?” and "How to deal with homesickness if someday I have a chance to study abroad for about four years?"
I started to realize and learn that this feeling comes to the surface due to loneliness, a stressful week, and some failed projects. Because somehow, home is a safe haven from the busy yet lonely world. Also, home becomes a shelter to recover from disillusionment when something does not go according to plan or met my expectation. In addition, I think that homesickness comes when I start thinking about my parents' health.
However, I have to face the music and deal with worries, which sometimes invade my mind like a thunderstorm. Since my budget is so tight, it only supports my living costs, tuition fees, and research. So it is unlikely that I can follow my notion and simply pay for a ticket back home when homesick comes.
Therefore, I need to learn a lot about self-control in order not to get mauled by my own thoughts, which push me to the brink of giving up.
